You have probably heard of the blockbuster, best selling book “50 Shades of Grey”. As of August 23rd this book has been number 1 on the USA Today Bestseller list for 16 weeks in a row which ties the record set by “The Hunger Games” and “In the Kitchen with Rosie: Oprah’s Favorite Recipes”. “50 Shades” is part of a trilogy that has sold over 40 million copies worldwide with book rights sold in 37 countries. In general a record breaking book is not surprising. Records are broken all the time. But the reason it is surprising, in this case, is that this particular book is classified as erotica. It is a book filled with explicit descriptions of sex. The old fashion word for it is, “smut”. But, not only does “50 Shades” include explicit sexuality, the primary relationship in the book is based on consensual violent sexuality. In other words both partners agree that one will be violent to the other. Let me say before I go any further I have not read this book. But, I have read the wikipedia article about it, so that makes me an expert.
What fascinates me about this “50 Shades of Grey” phenomena is just the number of women out there who have read it. Early it its publication, they think that e-readers, like Kindles or Nooks that offer a degree of anonymity allowed people to purchase it and then read it in public when they would never buy or read this kind of title in paperback. That may be true, but once it starting getting really popular you could see people reading it in paperback anywhere: by the pool, on the bus or even in church. It makes me wonder if many women needed the permission that massive popularity provided in order to read this kind of book. But, it also raises the question: what drives us in our culture today, at this moment to turn to this subject matter on such a large scale?
The other thing that fascinates about this phenomena is the general silence there has been in churches about the book. I know there are probably lots of churches or preachers who have said something about it. But, most have responded to this massive interest in violent sexuality by their parishioners with silence. Honestly, I think most of us clergy are stunned and terrified. How do you talk about this in church? But, another question is: how do you not talk about it in church and expect to be relevant. Because not only is this wildly popular material in our mainstream culture, but it touches on human sexuality and violence which are huge issues in our society today about which the church does have something important to say.
Right off the bat, as Christians we need to be very aware of any ways that violence or domination or misuse of power sneak into any kind of human relationships, sexual or otherwise. Of course let’s be fair, this book is fiction. This is not an instruction manual or a book of advice on how to have a happy relationship. It is fiction and like any fiction it gives us a chance to explore the lives and emotions and motivations of imaginary but realistic people as they make choices in life and deal with the consequences of those choices. Who are these characters? What motivates them? What are they feeling? Why do they enter into this kind of relationship? What effect does that have on their lives?
Fiction let’s us explore these kinds of inner questions and realities without having to actually live them. At the same time, here we are in this messed up society where sexuality and power and violence really do get entwined in sinister and even demonic ways. Domestic violence is not fantasy. It is real. Rape is real and real people with real power think that sometimes it is legitimate. Men misuse power over women everywhere from boardrooms to bedrooms; from dates in high schools to dark alleys downtown. Child poronography and sexual abuse is real and happens in our most sacred institutions. Human sexual trafficking proliferates. People are discriminated against, bullied and killed because of their sexual orientation or identity. None of that is fiction. If society is going to explore relationships involving consensual violence, we as Christians have to be able to speak and act prophetically within that conversation. We have to be able to say with clarity and conviction that sexuality is God given and good, but violence is evil and we need to be able to article which is which and never be satisfied with their confusion.
Now, if the Bible were silent about sexuality and power and violence we might not be able to speak so strongly on these subjects. But, the Bible is not silent. In fact, we have beautiful examples in the Bible of consensual, egalitarian, respectful, celebratory and nonviolent sexuality. Our passage today and the entire book of the Song of Solomon is erotic love poetry. This is a book of sexually charged love poems right in the middle of our holy scripture. Sometimes the speaker is a man. Sometimes it is a woman. Sometimes it seems to be a chorus of some kind. But it is always about expressing love, passion and sexual desire and some of it very explicitly. I know what you are thinking. “Yeah sure Pastor Tom, I’m sure that the Bible is real sexy.” Well listen up:
Starting with chapter 1 verse 2: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine, your anointing oils are fragrant, your name is perfume poured out; therefore the maidens love you. Draw me after you, let us make haste. The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will exult in your love more than wine.”
Skipping from there to verse 9 “I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots. Your cheeks are comely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels. We will make you ornaments of gold, studded with silver. While the king was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance. My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh that lies between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyard of Engedi. Ah you are beautiful my love; ah you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. Ah you are beautiful, my beloved, truly lovely. Our couch is green; the beams of our house are cedar, our rafters are pine.”
As you might perceive already, much of this poetry is filled with double entendre, some of which we don’t understand because of cultural and translation issues, but let’s just say many of these verse require a lot of winking and nudging.
Chapter 2:2-6 begins with a conversation between the lovers, “As a lily among brambles, so is my love among maidens. As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his intention toward me was love. Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples; for I am faint with love. O that his left hand were under my head, and that his right hand embraced me.”
Chapter 3:1-4 – “Upon my bed at night I sought him, but found him not; I called him but he gave no answer. I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves…when I found him whom my soul loves, I held him, and would not let him go until I brought him into my mother’s house; and into the chamber of her that conceived me. “
Chapter 5 begins with a dream, “I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking. ‘Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one; for my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.’ I had put off my garment; how could I put it on again? I had bathed my feet, how could I spoil them? My beloved thrust his hand into the opening, and my inmost being yearned for him. I arose to open to my beloved and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, upon the handles of the bolt”.
Take that “50 Shades of Grey”. But the difference should be clear. Much of the sexuality in “50 Shades of Grey” is about violent domination; about one person exerting power over another. The Song of Solomon is about equality. In particular, I would say at least three things about the sexuality expressed in the Song of Solomon. All three should be part of our our own sexuality and our message to the world about how sexuality should be and can be.
First, sexuality should be expressed in the context of mutual love. It is interesting that the marital status of the lovers in the Song of Solomon is rarely defined. They could be engaged, betrothed, married or none of the above. What is defined explicitly is the love they have for one another. The term “beloved” or “my beloved” is used over and over and over and over again. In many cases, the expression of mutual love is all there is and yet it just feels sexy. Sexuality is intended not simply for physical pleasure and never to be in the context of domination or violence. It is intended to be expressed and explored and enjoyed in the context of mutual, egalitarian love.
Second, the sexuality of the Song of Solomon is mutually invitational. Almost every poem in this book contains an invitation to the other. Will you come with me. Will you engage with me. Will you open the door? Will you let me come in? Let us go and do this together. Good sexuality is about the negotiation involved in an invitation offered and an invitation accepted. Our passage this morning from chapter 2 is a perfect example. “My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise my love, my fair one, and come away… let me see your face, let me hear your voice.” What if the Christian church could with assurance and clarity say to the world today, not that sex should only be between a man and a women or that sex should only happen in the context of marriage. What if we said, “human sexuality should always be about passionate non-coercive invitation, negotiation and agreement between two people who love each other deeply.” How much more relevant and helpful could we be in this conversation?
A third lesson from the Song of Solomon: sexuality is about lovers celebrating and enjoying each other’s bodies. I’m going to teach you a new word. At least, I bet most of you don’t know this word. The word is “wasf”. W-A-S-F. Remember next time you play scrabble. There are several wasfs in the Song of Solomon. A wasf is a love poem that describes each part of a lover’s body often anatomically ascending or descending the body and using exoctic and extravagant metaphor for each part. And what I love about the wasfs of the Song of Solomon is that they are not describing an airbrushed picture of a Victoria’s Secret supermodel. For one thing they sometimes describe the man. But every time, they are describing a real person with a real body.
From chapter 7 verses 1 and following, “How graceful are your feet in sandals, O queenly maiden! Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Heshbon by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon overlooking Damascus.” Somehow I don’t think many women today would like their bellies to be compared to a heap of wheat or their nose to a stone tower. But, you get the idea. The sexuality expressed in the Song of Solomon is about lovers relishing and celebrating the goodness of each other’s bodies. Each lover celebrates the other’s body as a work of art, as a creation intimately connected to the rest of nature, as the object of desire and as beloved.
According to the Song of Solomon, sexulality belongs in the context of mutual love. It involves mutual invitation and mutual celebration of the goodness of the body.
I will close with one other point. The Christian message to the world about good sexuality has to be grounded in the Gospel. Because we claim the Gospel as the Good News about God’s reign on this earth. The gospel says that when we are conscious of God as our ultimate source and grounding and authority, we are liberated from all the other powers that dominate us. And in our society today we are dominated by a broken, confused and harmful view of human sexuality. Through a relationship with the Living Christ we are liberated from that brokenness and confusion and freed to be the people we are created to be. We are freed from the expectations of our society to look a certain way or act a certain way or perform a certain way or fit into a certain category. We are freed to enjoy the God-given goodness of our sexuality in the context of love.
In the same way the lovers in the Song of Solomon invite each other into passionate relationship, we are being invited by God into such a relationship with Christ. And as a result we are invited by God to live a life free of violence, free of domination and living in mutual, invitational love for each other, celebrating the goodness of our place in Creation.
Of course, even as I say we should speak with such clarity and conviction about the subject of sexuality there will always “shades of grey”: room for discussion and questions and debate and disagreement. It is true that issues of sexuality are rarely black and white. But, we can always be certain of one thing: that good, God-given, human sexuality is alway founded in love and never involves violence.
Posted by tomharris1972 
Govans Presbyterian Church 